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January 2023.
I overheard a phone call my dad got at work—something about a nuclear bomb on a ship. I wasn’t supposed to hear it, but I did, and I understood enough to stay quiet so no one would panic. The only thing to compare it to is the “Hawaii 2018 Missle False Alarm.” That was only 38 minutes, this was 48 hours.
After that, I’m not gonna lie, I went a little bit crazy for a while. It was more internal than anything, but something in me shifted. I didn’t feel the same mentally, and eventually that led me into using drugs.
My priorities changed. I’m less focused on chasing things now and more focused on just existing—breathing, being present, noticing nature, appreciating what’s in front of me.
I don’t feel the same fear I used to. Not numb—just calmer about things I can’t control.